One of the neatest things about marriage thus far (and something that has surprised me) is the intensity of the commitment to be each other’s greatest champion!
The fact that Bjorn and I are on the same team, forever, provides me with the perfect reason to support him as he follows his dreams. After all, my husband has been the greatest encourager and supporter of this blog and its growth over the past couple years – as I’ve mentioned before, he has helped me to dream bigger dreams than I ever considered before! And his dreams (whether they come into fruition or not) will obviously affect my own life journey as well!
So, not only out of gratitude and reciprocity, but also out of my deep love for this man, I want to fully support Bjorn and his dreams!
In some marriages, the dreams line up. You’ve realized early on that you both want the same things and your goals are synonymous. That makes the journey easy. You get to plot out the steps and the desired end results together! In other marriages, your goals may overlap, but you may find yourself at different places. You might find yourself discouraged or out of sync, and you just plain want to walk the journey with a matched stride again.
In all honesty, I’ve found myself in both of those situations over the past couple years of marriage (and the season of dating beforehand). But I’m convinced that we as wives should do what we can to support our husbands’ goals and dreams. Here’s how:
6 Practical Ways to Support Your Husband’s Dreams:
1 // Be understanding when he needs to devote time to them. As I’ve talked about before, Bjorn has been taking on more farming responsibilities lately outside of his teaching and army duties. It’s something he loves to do and we’re excited about future farming, but farming is an extremely time-consuming endeavor at times. One of the hardest lessons for me these past 12 months has been learning to be understanding when he comes home from work only to leave immediately for farming tasks until late in the evening. This is particularly true during the busy planting season and then crazy-busy harvest time in the fall.
What’s gotten me through many a quiet evening and weekend at home has been my commitment to support these dreams of Bjorn’s. (And the fact that farming is busy for a only a season 🙂 ) I had to realize that I needed to let go of my selfishness and truly be okay with him spending time away. He is such an ambitious man and we’ve had multiple conversations about how I can make this so much easier for both of us if I remain supportive and understanding of his drive to accomplish these dreams of his. At this point, I’m still learning but I am so much more understanding because I keep the end goals in sight. Out of my commitment and deep love for him, I know that I need to give him that time to work hard at these dreams – because he should come home to a warm meal and a welcoming home, rather than his wife’s complaints or whining about his absence.
I’m really excited about Bjorn’s goals – not only farming, although that is an easy example to use. But what should we as wives do if we aren’t personally excited about our husband’s dreams? One of the worst things I’ve heard you can do is to disrespect and belittle his goals. If you make your husband feel as though his hard work is useless or his goals aren’t worth accomplishing, it is so often directly correlated to belittling his identity and purpose. So one of the things I push myself to remember is to NEVER make Bjorn feel like I could care less about his striving. If his goals are God-honoring, then a husband should never be made to feel like his work is for nothing.
2 // Pray for a flexible, supportive attitude. Praying for a changed heart is huge! And often, in life, we pray for changed circumstances when we really should be praying for a changed heart-attitude. I’ve mentioned in my pre-motherhood post that my heart-attitudes are something I really feel God working with me on.
I recently finished reading a fiction novel in which the wife kept praying for her situation (and her husband’s work circumstances) to change. Finally, though, she had a revelation and she began to pray that her own heart-attitude would change and pray for her husband as a person. The result was drastic – both she and her husband felt a renewed love and respect for each other, and a commitment to support each other’s dreams!
Praying for your own heart to be changed by God will always have positive results in the lives of those around you! And in this case, your husband will always benefit.
Bjorn has told me that a man can do a lot EVEN IF no one else in the world believe in him, as long as his own wife believes in him. But, he says, good luck to the man whose own wife does not support and believe in him. This has been the basis of a couple late-night conversations for us – and this truth is so meaningful to me that right now, as I type this, my eyes fill with tears. We MUST realize the power and influence we have in our husbands’ lives – to belittle and shatter their dreams, or to empower them to soar as we love them with a courage that only God can give us!
That’s all I’ll leave you with for today. Be watching for Part 2 of this topic coming up! 🙂
How do you strive to support your husband’s dreams? What has been the hardest part for you?