Just Us: Living the Pre-Mom Life with Intention
I’m getting a bit more vulnerable here on the blog with today’s topic of life before kids – thanks for your openness in entering this discussion with me!
My husband Bjorn and I really look forward to becoming parents. We are both teachers so we currently spend all day with children! Each day brings us important experiences with hilarious kid stories as well as instructing and disciplining children. Bjorn has had to lovingly correct and guide 12-year-olds, and I’ve worked through countless off-topic moments (even tantrums) with precious 5-year-olds.
When I see how tenderly and wisely Bjorn interacts with kids, it jolts my heart with that special pang of delight. I love the fatherhood qualities I already see in him! And I have many fond memories of summers I spent as a nanny – even in the hard moments, I savored the privilege of caring for precious little boys or rocking a sweet little girl to sleep. To make things even more fun, Bjorn and I actually found out when we started dating that we even share the same favorite baby name – a name we’ve each loved since before we even met each other!
Needless to say, raising children alongside this man will be such a joy! Motherhood is a precious, dear dream of mine, and it’s a topic close to my heart. It sidles up alongside topics of marriage and house and home to nestle right there in that sweet spot of wishes and passions. We all have that sweet spot – for me, being a mom someday fits in perfectly with my other desires of cultivating a strong marriage and caring skillfully for the home.
Although I already feel future purpose in being a mother, we obviously do not have a little one at the moment. Even though we’re not currently parents, I am intentionally recognizing this season as preparation for parenthood.
I wanted to introduce this blog post series as a means of encouraging other women who find themselves in this or in similar circumstances. I’ve written on the topic of thriving in a season of waiting before, because I know that when we have a dream and it is not yet being realized for whatever reason, it can be hard to be patient and use our time intentionally!
This series is by no means implying that one should or should not wait to have children – this is just our reality so I am exploring ways to intentionally glorify God and use this time well, before we have a little one of our own! And I invite you to thoughtfully join in on the discussion!
How We Are Being Intentional About Our Season Before Kids:
1 // We’ve worked on getting our logistical things established! We want our finances to be firmly in place, living with no debt. Bjorn and I both currently work full-time and are living off of one of our paychecks while continuing to stash. 🙂
2 // This time gives us the opportunity to establish healthy interactions with family and in-laws, functioning as a married couple unit, before a baby enters the picture! I have really appreciated the chance to figure out holidays with each of our families, and grow in my relationships with my in-laws – as just me.
3 // There are health things that I want to be taken care of or more steady before baby. For me, this ranges from the little things like me taking prenatal vitamins every day (I’ve been doing this so well for about a year, yay!) to bigger things like learning to handle stress and anxiety well (a really hard but incredibly important aspect for me).
4 // We’ve had countless conversations on babies and parenting, diapers, toys, media usage, holidays, and more! I’ve read interesting books on parenting like this one, and other inspirational books like this one on shepherding a child’s heart. Again, as teachers, we have daily conversations about guiding and instructing children. Bjorn and I can both be opinionated at times and it’s so good for us to have conversations about how we, as a team, wish to raise our own little ones. There’s a lot to think about, and this space of time gives us an unhurried opportunity to ponder (and research!) any of these topics.
5 // I get to practice the art of caring for the home! Homemaking is a passion of mine. I love meal planning, cleaning using checklists, organizing, grocery shopping, practicing hospitality, decorating…and all of this, I’ve been doing during a very busy season of life. Time management and to-do lists have been the name of the game for so long. I know I’m establishing useful, important habits and routines that will aid me greatly as a new mom someday!
6 // We’re adventuring together. 🙂 When we first got married, the army had us living on base in Virginia for 3 months, and we still remember that summer as one of our favorite adventures yet! This past summer we were able to take off on a road trip through Tennessee. And next summer, we will be exploring Europe together with a couple friends and family members! This isn’t to say that you can’t travel once you have kids, but spontaneous weekend trips (and bigger vacations) will be much more difficult to accomplish with a little one along for the ride!
So now, I want to hear about you!
What season of life are you in, friend? If you’re in this pre-mom stage like me, I’d love to hear about how you are using this time intentionally. And if you are a mother, then please share as well – what advice do you have for us in this season before kids?
Next week, I’ll be diving even deeper in the vulnerability category 🙂 and discussing the heart things – ways God has been working on my heart in this pre-mom season of my life.
This is an interesting series. I think the period between wedding and babies is awkward for a lot of people because there’s this unspoken (and sometimes spoken) pressure to have kids. Bringing up the topic would seem taboo or too revealing. I really like how you’re addressing it and taking control of the waiting/middle/current stage.
Thanks, Audrey! I totally agree – there is often both a spoken and unspoken pressure to have kids…and while we’re so excited to have children, we’ve decided to wait for now. But I want to use the time intentionally! Thank you for sharing your thoughts and for reading along!
I’m in the pre-mom stage of life too! I feel like if I wrote my own list it would look a lot like yours. We are trying to really enjoy each other and being ourselves before a baby enters the picture. I look forward to reading more of your series.
Hi, Brittany! Thanks for reading and commenting! I so appreciate it! I’m glad this post spoke to you as well. It’s reassuring to hear that you have a similar list! It will be so exciting to add a little one to our lives and for now we are working on being very intentional about this season!
I’m in the pre-mom stage, knowing that I want to get pregnant sometime next fall (if possible). While that’s about a year away, I’m taking the time to work on becoming as healthy as possible, meaning losing extra weight and exercising more!
Lauren 🙂
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What a great goal to have, Lauren! Thanks for sharing that with me (and other readers!)! I appreciate you reading along. It’s wonderful to hear from others who are in the pre-mom stage. Thanks for the reminder that not only do we want to be taking prenatal vitamins – I’ve got to get into a good exercising routine, too!
I’m excited to read this series! I fondly remember Nate’s and my life prebaby (although I LOVE that we’re parents now!!!) and am thankful we waited 3.5 years before having a kid. 🙂
Thanks, Susannah!! Yes, this season can be so much fun – although I know that like you, we’ll love being parents, too! You seem like such a great mom – thank you for reading along! 🙂
I love this! My husband and I got married a few months ago and although kids are still in the distance (hopefully!), I want to spend this time intentionally 🙂 It’s not going to be just us forever!
Right! Thanks for reading along, Aleah! 🙂 Congrats on your recent marriage! It really is important to live life with intention – no matter the season we’re in! I’m happy to have you here!
Good for you for putting so much thought into this wonderful stage in your life. I soo enjoyed married life before a baby and never thought it could get better than that until I had my daughter. I couldn’t imagine the amount of love and happiness a baby could bring to a life and marriage I was already completely fulfilled in. I do think back to pre-baby life and wonder if I took it for granted though; I hope all couples read this post and take it to heart!
Thank you so much for your thoughtful comment, Lindsay! I’m glad you enjoyed this post – and thank you for sharing your thoughts on life before baby. That is such a good point – I do want to make sure I don’t take this season for granted, even though I look forward to the next!
Great article! I think these are all very wise things to consider and discuss together in the “pre-mom” stage and being intentional. I LOVE this!