I’m getting a bit more vulnerable here on the blog with today’s topic of life before kids – thanks for your openness in entering this discussion with me!
Today’s post is Part 2 of the Pre-Mom Life series – click HERE for Part 1!
Besides all of the logistical things I talked about in Part 1, I know that becoming a parent requires (and brings about) a distinct change in heart-attitude.
There are so many sculpting moments in our lives, molding us into more of who we should be! The sanctification process is a lengthy one – and it can be painful. Like the sinner I am, I tend to wrestle with these sculpting moments, wishing there was an easier way to get from Point A to Point B. Why do I have to learn these hard heart-lessons? Can’t I just accept situations? Why can’t I just be at the chapter I want to turn to already?
But that’s the beauty of our ongoing story. God lovingly sculpts us as we struggle with our sinfulness and our own desires…but when we relinquish the control (and the reins of our hearts) back to Him, what plays out is a beautiful, divinely-timed story. That’s the truth I’m holding on to.
Over the years (and goodness knows, over the past couple years of marriage), I’ve realized there are a lot of “heart things” that I struggle with. And for that reason, I’m grateful to have this season of pre-parenthood during which God can continue to mold my heart and align my desires with His own. I believe that this season can make me a better parent if I approach these heart-sculpting moments intentionally!
The 4 “Heart Things” I’ve Been Focusing On This Season:
1 // Effectively building up my husband! It’s extremely important that we as wives work to uplift and encourage our husbands (and respect them) – not only in their pursuits, but in terms of who they are as a person! This season of life without children really allows me to focus solely on my husband and on our relationship, as I strive to glorify God through how I treat my spouse. I wrote about being your husband’s greatest champion in the past, and I still believe that it is crucial.
2 // Working on becoming less selfish. Marriage has an incredible way of revealing to us just how selfish we can be! 🙂 It has been a beautiful, sometimes-difficult journey for me to remember that I am called to serve Bjorn and his needs above my own – as a means of reflecting Christ’s love to us! Having a baby immediately means putting someone else’s needs before my own, so I know that in this season of life, God has been scraping selfishness out of my heart little by little. This is a process that will last the rest of my life, I know, but I want to rid my heart of as many selfish tendencies as I can before a little one enters the picture!
3 // Praying for God’s timing and for our future children. To me, part of being intentional about a season of life is spending time praying about it. I often pray that God would work out His perfect timing in our lives, according to His wisdom – but also that we would be wise, godly parents raising children in a future time that we don’t yet know.
Waiting and watching and continuing to work hard at other things lets me have a front row seat into how God is answering prayer in our lives. And that is a beautiful part of our story! Learning to thrive while waiting can be a wonderful chapter in our lives.
4 // Dealing with anxiety. I don’t officially struggle with anxiety, but I’ve always dealt with stress affecting me negatively and becoming overwhelmed. This is something that I’ve made great strides in since high school, as I’ve learned to lean on God and His promises, rather than my perfectionism or what others may think of me! (I wrote about being a discouraged people pleaser here.) But I want to continue to make strides in terms of handling stress in a healthy way, and not let anxiety eat me up inside. Because I understand that often, the mother sets the tone for a household and the children, and I want to be a consistently emotionally steady presence in the lives of our future kiddos.
I can see how some specific heart-things and lessons can really only come as a result of becoming a mother… However, my hope is that I can prepare myself to be a more effective, thoughtful mama by at least recognizing and intentionally working on the heart-lessons I know I can focus on at this point!
If you’re a mom, what heart-lessons have you learned? What did you wish you had learned before becoming a parent?
But if you’re in a similar life stage to mine, what heart-things are you focusing on during this season?
PS – Catch up on Part 1 of this series here if you missed it!