This Father’s Day was a fun one! We spent time yesterday with several important fathers in our family, including Bjorn’s two grandfathers. Unfortunately, we weren’t able to make it up to my parents’ place to wish my own dad a happy Father’s Day, but we are no less grateful or thankful for him and his influence in our lives. Dads are great!
Fathers have an incredible impact in this world. Their presence, decisions, demeanors, and love (or withholding of it) affect children and families so much more than many people even take time to ponder. I’ve seen it in the classroom with students of different ages over my four years of teaching – children angry and confused about life at home, and on the flip side, children secure and content in their dad’s love. I’ve seen fathers’ influences in families and in friends’ lives, too. The way a father treats his wife and children deeply affects everyone involved, no matter their age. I would even argue that the influence our parents have on us affects us spiritually as well, in terms of our perspective of who God is and how He shows love to us.
It’s overwhelming as a soon-to-be parent, to realize just how much this little girl we’ll meet in October will be affected by Bjorn’s and my actions! Family structure has such a crazy strong impact on kids’ lives – we’re determined to parent, love, and teach her well, but it’s a lot to soak in!
Something I’ve never worried about is what Bjorn will be like as a father. For some, the transition into parenthood brings a lot of fear as to how their spouse will treat or love their child. Thankfully, I am absolutely confident that my husband will be an amazing father to our kids.
Today I wanted to celebrate him, Father’s Day style, by thinking about the ways I know he’ll be a great dad!
9 Things That Tell Me My Husband Will Be An Amazing Father:
How he is with kids. This includes his 7th grade students, as well as our friends’ children. Bjorn establishes such great rapport with his middle school students. He certainly has a large number of them that he sees every single day, and if you add up the number of students he’s taught over the past 4 years in the middle school, it totals hundreds! That means hundreds of 12-year-olds who have been influenced by Mr. Olson. He treats his students with respect, not in a condescending way. He holds high expectations for them academically and behaviorally. We hold a Teen Movie Night every few months here in our town’s library, and I love seeing Bjorn interact with “his kids” because I can see just how much they admire him and want to make him proud…and it’s so fun how Bjorn uses his sense of humor to make learning and interacting fun. (After all, if they didn’t like him, why would they pool their money, call pet stores, and buy him his own dream pet scorpion?? If you’re surprised by this life update, catch up here!)
And it is so fun to see Bjorn play with and hold our friends’ kids. 🙂 It makes it that much more fun for me to imagine how he’ll be with our little one in October!
I want to note here that it isn’t mandatory that our husbands are “obsessed” with babies and kids in order to be a good father someday. Not every husband has been a camp counselor every summer or volunteers in the church nursery each week. Many fathers are particularly attached to their own children, not necessarily gushing over other children they meet. And that’s okay! The special thing about fatherhood is that they are the perfect dad that God picked for that exact child! Sometimes there’s a culture of “oh no, my husband doesn’t demand to hold all our friends’ babies, so he must not like kids!” I wouldn’t worry about that. Your husband will love his own kids so fiercely. 🙂
How he treats his mom and sisters. I still have a vivid memory from sophomore year of college, of seeing Bjorn walk through our dorm hallway with his mom and sisters. I don’t even know if he knows I saw this! (He and I both lived in the same big dorm building our sophomore year at Bethel.) I was out in the hallway and he and his mom were walking down the hall in front of me. And Bjorn put his arm around his mom, giving her a tight hug and speaking so sweetly to her. It warmed my heart! We were just friends then but it showed me another special glimpse into his personality and values. Bjorn’s mom and sisters will attest to the fact that he is the best son and best brother they could ever ask for!! He is full of humor or advice, and is always up for hanging out or helping his family with tasks.
His sense of humor. I’ve already brought up his sense of humor, but his particular sense of humor is amazing. And thankfully, it matches mine. 🙂 We love to laugh and I know that his special brand of silliness will really crack our kids up someday and make life fun.
His financial savviness. I’m lucky to have married a man who is interested in financial matters, wants to constantly learn more, and is skilled at handling money well. Bjorn spends wisely, invests thoughtfully, and plans wonderfully. Obviously, handling money well is a great foundation for building a family, so I am grateful my husband’s wise financial decisions will affect our children positively!
His practicality and level-headedness. Bjorn is the steady to my up-and-down emotions. 🙂 When our kids come to him someday for advice (or when we’re in the midst of a more difficult parenting situation), I know that Bjorn’s practical nature will help us all reach logical (not emotional!) solutions, and his level-headedness will help to diffuse conflict. Bjorn is not afraid to call people out on their drama, so I’m grateful to have him as the rock in our family we are building! A practical decision-making approach will help our family countless times over the years!
His protective nature. Bjorn will protect those he loves fiercely! He watches out for me on a daily basis. He won’t stand by if he thinks someone is not treating his loved ones well. Part of being protective is also a sense of what is right and wrong, and what kind of situations or treatment is acceptable. He has a great gauge for that, and I’m thankful to have a protective rather than a passive spouse. His protectiveness has actually infused a greater sense of assertiveness in me, too.
He is not afraid to love wholeheartedly. Sometimes in life, people hold back, afraid to love someone deeply. My husband isn’t like that! He loves me so well and already loves our little girl so deeply! I love his tender, courageous heart. I can’t wait to see him cuddle with our baby girl!
His trust in God’s providence. This is an area I tend to struggle with more. Bjorn reminds me to trust that our all-powerful God is in control and that He is watching out for His children. I’m glad that our children will see this unwavering trust in their daddy, as they learn to trust God’s faithfulness, no matter the situation.
His determination to do it well. Bjorn knows the incredible influence he’ll have on his children and is utterly determined to do this fatherhood thing well. (This is a good reminder for me, too — once we know the deep influence we’ll have on someone, that’s even more reason to do the job well!) And when Bjorn is intentional about something, you can bet he’ll be in it 100%!
I thank God every day that the husband He handpicked for me is also the perfect daddy God handpicked for our little girl. I could not ask for a better father for my children!
Let’s think about (and thank) the men in our lives this week. What makes your dad or husband a great dad? Or how can you tell your husband will be a wonderful father someday? And then turn around and let them know! We should be encouraging the men in our life!