6 Simple Ways to Be Your Husband’s Greatest Champion
One of my very favorite things to hear is someone really building up their spouse. There seem to be more than enough “My husband is so stupid” conversations out there. Speaking well of my husband is something I take very seriously! In my marriage, I consider it my job – my commitment – to be Bjorn’s greatest champion. When I made the promise to love my husband through every avenue of life and to be his forever-partner, that included the fact that I was to be his greatest encourager. Marriage is the most intimate relationship that two humans can have – therefore, my husband needs to feel encouraged and cherished by me since that puts me in such a prominent position in his life! I believe that this takes a bit of intentionality.
1 // Figure out his love language and then really run with it! There are 5 major love languages according to Gary Chapman, who wrote a book about them years ago. Whether your spouse’s love language is Acts of Service, Physical Touch, Quality Time, Gifts, or Words of Affirmation, it’s important to know what ways of reaching out mean the most to them! You may be loving your spouse as best as you can, but are they “feeling” it? Perhaps they just crave Words of Affirmation from you, while you have been buying them gifts – if you’re feeling a sense of disconnect with them feeling cherished, perhaps it’s time to reevaluate what means the most to them! Bjorn and I share Quality Time as one of our top few languages, which has really been nice as we’ve learned to show each other love. In the meantime, I’ve learned that Acts of Service means a lot to him so I look for ways to do little tasks to help him out!
2 // Only speak highly of him. I wrote an entire guest post on this topic a while back on Claire’s blog! This is a hugely important topic in marriage…and it doesn’t even involve being in the same room as your spouse! One way you can uplift your husband is to speak of him in a respectful way. This shows others that you cherish him, care about him, and don’t want him to look poorly!
3 // Thank him for what he does. And you have a massive list of things to choose from! Does he take out the garbage? Does he work extra hours to make something possible for you and your family? Show your appreciation for him. Let him know that you notice his effort (in any area of life) – it will make a difference!
4 // Pray for him. Taking the time to bring your husband – and your marriage – before God in prayer can be an attitude changer in itself, as you intentionally make your marriage a priority. Ask God to show you ways to love your husband and uplift him!
5 // Word your disagreements respectfully. When you’re frustrated and have a concern to bring up with your husband, preface it with loving words towards him…and surround the conversation with prayer and an effort to really be constructive and see the best in him!
6 // Find little ways to serve him. This connects a bit to the love languages topic, but I believe that no matter what a husband’s love language is, the small little acts of service can mean a lot! Whether it’s having fresh towels out, a warm supper ready, or even bringing him an ice-cold drink while he works, figure out what little things are meaningful to your husband!
How do you strive to uplift your husband and be his greatest champion?
I love this! Definitely saving this one 🙂 It is definitely something we need to prioritize! I hear complaints from my friends who are only engaged at this point and think that can’t be a good start to a marriage! Guys especially need to be uplifted.
I agree, Anna! Even if words of affirmation isn’t their main love language, I think it’s really important that we uplift them! And yes, it’s not great to start complaining about husbands before even getting married! Hopefully good habits can be established soon! I’m so glad this post was useful to you!
Not speaking poorly of your husband is such an easy tip to dismiss. When I listen to women sitting around at girls’ night, glass of wine in hand, it seems like all they do is complain about their families. It’s so easy to join in and complain about my husband’s flaws, but when I give into that temptation I feel HORRIBLE afterward. And I know that if he sat around complaining about me I would be devastated. I think speaking well of your significant other is SO important.
Yes! It is so sad, isn’t it? And it’s so easy to want to contribute a funny (or sassy) story of our own, but you’re right – we feel terrible later! It really is such an important topic!
I take great care to never contradict my husband in public. If he’s wrong about something I’ll whisper to him or find a quick reason to be alone with him to correct him. I never challenge or contradict him in front of others and he does the same for me. There is also no public complaining or sharing my personal gripes with others.
That is so neat to hear, Ashley! Thank you for sharing about what you do to uplift your husband! I really like your point about not openly contradicting him in front of others – I’ve done that before and I felt terrible about it, even when he didn’t feel hurt by it. I love that you quietly pull him aside if it’s important enough to correct him on. Thanks for your insight!
Yes Yes and Yes!! Love this! I completely agree- I have been married for 16 years (together for 19 years) and I never talk badly of my husband and I respect him so much. I do all of these things and I credit it to why I have such a blessed marriage 🙂
Yay!! That is so cool, Melinda!! I so appreciate you reading along and sharing your thoughts! I absolutely love hearing about marriages longer than mine and what you feel contributes to their success. It is so neat to hear how much you respect your husband. Thank you for the inspiration you are!
Thanks Hannah! I am enjoying your blog 😀
I am constantly encouraged by your marriage posts and how much you respect your marriage! It’s a beautiful and rare thing!
🙂 Aww. Chelsea, thank you for your kind words! I’m definitely not perfect (luckily my husband is forgiving among other things!) but I try hard to pour into my marriage and bring God glory by how I interact with my husband. Thanks as always for reading along!
Amen! It makes me sad how many women talk about marriage and their husbands negatively. Marriage can be super challenging, but it is also so sweet and beautiful. I love the idea of being my husband’s champion…his number one encourager, supporter, co-adventurer, and partner in things. Thanks for sharing!
Yes!! The idea that we have such a prominent place in our husbands’ lives – and hearts – is so important and special! We have a great responsibility then to support, encourage, and adventure with him! Thank you for your articulate thoughts on this topic! 🙂