Wedding season is definitely in full swing right now, and seeing snapshots of so many celebrations has made me extra sappy lately! Marriage is a topic very dear to my heart. 🙂 I’m so grateful for the precious gift that marriage has been to us. Bjorn and I have been married over a year now, and although a year is short in the grand scheme of things, we have learned so much about each other – and about marriage – already! Here are some phrases we’ve learned are important to incorporate into a marriage:
What can I do for you?
This open-ended phrase is especially important to me, because it’s something I’ve watched my mom say throughout my childhood – not only to my dad, but to my siblings and me as well. No other phrase says “I want to selflessly love you” more. Another similar phrase is, “What can I help with?” On days when I wholeheartedly ask Bjorn how I can help him, I find myself less consumed by my own worries and concerns, and stepping into my God-given role as his unique, caring help-mate. And on days when Bjorn approaches me to ask, “What can I do for you, Bee? Can I get you anything?” he has blessed me immensely as well. I love the power that this phrase has to transform a moment and enhance a relationship.
This is an interesting one. I’ve known and worked with people who will do everything they can in a conversation to avoid saying the words, “I’m sorry” – even when they’ve been wrong! :/ I tend to be on the other side of the issue, though – I tend to over apologize, while not actually wholeheartedly meaning it. My husband is incredible when it comes to this phrase. When Bjorn is wrong, he admits it, and when he says he’s sorry, he truly means it. He has set a wonderful example for me when it comes to apologizing (when one actually needs to). And ladies? Goodness knows that when you’ve committed to being “roommates for life” with a guy, no matter how amazing he is, you’re gonna have times when you need to exchange the words, “I’m sorry!” 🙂
I’m proud of you.
Some people go their whole lives without hearing someone say, “I’m proud of you.” Since you’re the most important person in the world to your spouse (and therefore your opinion matters immensely), make sure they know you are proud of them!
What do you mean?
I can no longer count on one hand the number of times Bjorn and I have had “discussions” (one Christian speaker calls her arguments with her husband “intense fellowships,” haha!) on a topic, only to realize we were both thinking and strongly stating the same side. What? Yep. I’m all about keeping it real here – it’s almost embarrassing just how easily these discussions could be avoided if only we had clarified sooner. We’re learning to clarify early on in a conversation just what exactly the other person is thinking.
I believe in you.
My husband pushes me to have big dreams. It’s that simple. Bjorn encourages me to become all that God has created me to be, all that I have the potential to become! It’s incredible what the faith of a spouse backing you in life can accomplish – even in your own heart! Don’t we want our spouses to feel that way, too? Encourage them by reminding them you believe they can attain all that God has in store for them!
Am I loving you the way you need to be loved?
Just talking about this one makes me feel all sappy inside. 🙂 Over the past year, Bjorn and I have improved a lot in terms of “checking in” with each other. As a married couple, we desire to learn to speak each other’s love language, and to speak it well. But often it’s all too easy to revert back to treating our spouse how we would want to be loved…which may not necessarily be their specific love language! Whenever Bjorn or I have taken the time to ask how we can love each other better, words can’t explain just how tender and selfless and true that moment becomes. I believe it’s these kinds of conversations that make up the cement holding our marriage together!
Oh, and an additional phrase to incorporate in your marriage that my husband just suggested (he’s sitting next to me coughing): I hope you feel better soon. Poor guy. 😉
Even the smallest of phrases can really make a difference in our life’s relationships.
What phrases have you learned to use in your marriage or friendships?