Today, as a change of pace, I’m centering my 5 things around one of my favorite topics – marriage. As newlyweds, my husband and I are learning a lot about doing life together and I’m eager to share some of our reflections!
I always wanted to marry my best friend. So did Bjorn. 🙂 It’s a philosophy we both had individually before we even met each other! I heard once that “true love is friendship set on fire.” I just love that! While a marriage does need to be more than just plain friendship to thrive, there are just SO many articles and tips and tricks out there on “keeping your relationship sexy” and “how to increase your romance”…Well, it makes for great headlines, but they are missing out on a vital element of marriage – friendship!!
5 WAYS TO KEEP FRIENDSHIP IN YOUR MARRIAGE:
1. Confide in each other. Make it a habit to share life – verbally – with your spouse! Just as any other friendship needs 2 people actually talking about their lives, this relationship will thrive on communication. Share the big things, the little things, the ups, and the downs. Connect with each other so that you know what’s truly on each other’s hearts. This sets you up to best serve your spouse.
2. Make time for the 2 of you. Gravitate towards time spent together, not apart from each other. If you’re always going out with other friends, or doing your own thing, how are you nurturing your friendship with your husband? I’ve heard that one of the most dangerous but gradual patterns for a marriage is when the couple begins to lead completely separate lives. Your desire should be to spend quality time with your husband!
3. Learn together. This adds a whole new facet to your relationship, apart from romance, and it is seriously so fun to connect intellectually. Whether it’s taking a one-time paddle boarding lesson together, standing next to each other during a guided tour, or actually discovering a new hobby…learning together can be rewarding in so many ways! We’re a little obsessed with lifelong learning over here. I’ll spare you the details. 🙂
4. Be goofy. It’s amazing how quickly we get serious and forget to have fun. What’s wrong with a little immaturity every now and then? 🙂 There are so many ways to laugh together. Have nicknames for each other that no one else knows about! Make up inside jokes. Keep reminding each other that life is full of joys, big and small. My parents are a beautiful example of best friends who got married. I remember as a little kid seeing or hearing them laugh about something…as a kid, I’d have no idea what cracked them up, but it always gave me a neat perspective on friendship (and laughter) within a marriage.
5. Encourage each other. Have an “I’ll help you!” attitude, not a “How will you serve me?” one! I struggle with this one because I know I have a selfish heart, but on days I make a true effort to encourage and support Bjorn, I can immediately feel the mood lighten and our love grow!
While we value the friendship aspect of our marriage very much, we know that what makes all the difference is giving our marriage – and our lives – to God. Praying for God’s strength, wisdom, and hedge of protection around a marriage is the true key to success.
Know that we are not perfect, nor do we have this marriage thing down pat… But we are enthusiastically pursuing each other on this journey and I hope these little tips encouraged you in some way!
How do you nurture your friendship with your husband?? I’d love to hear!
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