4 Reasons to Write Letters to Your Future Husband

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It’s no secret: marriage is important to me. I love the topic, and I always have – even before I knew who my husband was. I loved talking about it with mentors and friends…and hearing Scripture, others’ opinions, and advice on the subject. It was something I wanted (and hoped and prayed for, in God’s timing) and I wanted to go about it the right way.

My relationship with my husband is utterly precious to me. And here’s the thing: it was utterly precious to me long before that man walked into my life. 

It all started on an excruciatingly looong day in 9th grade health class, while we were watching a video. I was bored and the teacher had told us we could do whatever we wanted, as long as we were quiet. (Now that I’m a teacher myself, I’m like ???! Seriously?! ) So, as the rest of the class doodled, texted, passed notes, and slept, I picked up my mechanical pencil and turned to the Notes section of my little planner. I tore out a page and hesitantly, haltingly, penned those first few tender words to Bjorn. The letter rattled on about little things (“I have a test coming up”) until it circled around to its main purpose. I began to try to describe just how much I already cared for my future husband and told him how excited I was to meet him!

I thought that letter was a one-time thing. Even just a cheesy thing. But as time went on and my teen and college years passed, I found myself still drawn to the subject of marriage. Not wanting to stop there, at simply learning about it, I wanted to continue penning these letters to my future husband – a one-way conversation for so long, until the day it could become a two-way street. 🙂

I wrote between one and two letters a year to FH (as I’d affectionately begun to call him). Not too many, but over time they accumulated in a gallon-sized ziploc bag labeled “FH”: about 15 in all. Only a few close friends of mine knew I was doing this – it wasn’t a huge secret, but it certainly was a little project close to my heart.

But one person didn’t know about the letters. Bjorn didn’t know I had been writing him all those years. I had been waiting until we were engaged to give him my FH letters…although I have to say, I knew he was FH from the first time we kissed. It was a done deal for both of us at that point; going into our dating relationship, we both knew it was our future spouse we were with! <3 We had been best friends at college for over a year before we began dating (more of our love story and how all THAT came about here!) and then got engaged after dating a year and a half.

One evening, a week after Bjorn had proposed, I headed over to the house my fiancé shared with “the guys” for a date night. Oftentimes our date nights consisted of making supper together and watching a movie with his roommates 🙂 But this time, I had carefully packed my “FH” ziploc bag into my backpack. I told him I had brought a special present…and thus began one of the sweetest evenings of our lives. This handsome, strong man – who wasn’t one to become outwardly emotional – was incredibly touched by these innocent, joyful letters of promise. We have the most special memories of that evening: Bjorn getting to unfold letter after letter from the bag and attempting to read them out loud around such palpable emotion, and a whole lot of happy tears and excitement about the future. To this day, that evening when Bjorn first got to read the “FH letters” remains forefront in our minds as one of our most tender, special memories yet.

If that’s not convincing enough, here are the main reasons I strongly recommend you ladies write letters to your FH:

1 // They actually function as a neat type of a journal – snapshots of where you are in life right then. For example, some of my letters say, “I hope you’re doing well. I’m swamped in studying right now because I’ve got 2 more AP tests next week!” What a fun way to freeze time and where you were at when you were that age 🙂

2 //  They offer you a fresh perspective on life – writing a letter to your future spouse keeps you focused on the future. I always felt that when I took the time to write FH, it helped me to rise above my current circumstances, and see the big picture of what I was striving and hoping for…A great, solid education, a good job…and then hopefully, eventually, a husband and family. It was a lot to think about at 15, but these letters brought my life’s bigger purpose into perspective on those moody teenage days. And we ladies know that at age 15, we could all use a bigger, fuller perspective on life! 😉 Hope and expectation are powerful things, and they are something these letters are definitely full of.

3 // Writing FH letters reminds you to be striving for self-improvement; if you will, it reminds you to be bettering yourself. I’m certainly not saying that others who are single or already married aren’t bettering themselves anyway! But we all want to be the type of person our spouse has always wanted, out of love for them! My letters often expressed the desire of my teenage self to “become the loving, kind, gentle wife you are looking for.” It even directs your prayer life, as you are asking God to bring this man into your life, if it’s His will – and as you ask God to help you become a more godly woman. It was wonderful continued motivation for me to write these letters as a commitment to Bjorn that I would strive to truly be gentle, be loving, be forgiving, and be the wife he needed.

4 // It WILL mean a lot to him. There’s no doubt about it. Like I explained above, my dear husband is a tough guy and not outwardly emotional most of the time. But his reaction, that one quiet night during our last week of college… Man. I’ve been married to him over a year now and that moment still ranks as an unbelievable heartstrings-pulled moment for us. 🙂


Have you heard of writing FH letters before? Ever done something like this? Or a special present for your husband once you got engaged? I’d LOVE to hear your stories, ladies! 🙂 

I’ve created a free love letter template just for you – whether you’re already married or not, you can use this printable to pen a meaningful letter to those you love:

Get the free printable love letter template here!

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PS – If you enjoyed today’s post, feel free to stick around! 🙂 I love writing about marriage and motherhood. Make sure you’re following along on Instagram for more daily snapshots of our life together!


  1. I love this idea! I didn’t do this, but when Steven was deployed, I made him a journal to take with him with something written for each day he was gone. It definitely had a similar effect! I have been thinking about wanting to do something like this for Greyson though, to have something to remember my hopes and dreams for him right now while I’m still pregnant with him!

    1. Thanks, Madison! Your journal to Steven during his deployment was SUCH a sweet idea!! That is so neat to hear about – thanks for sharing! I bet he absolutely loved those, especially with all those miles between you two. And I really like the idea of doing something for Greyson (love the name, by the way!) – I bet a journal or even letters would be super special! What a special time of life for you to write them, too!

  2. This is so sweet! I may have written a few future husband letters as a teen, but sadly, I did not save them all together. What I did do, was during our engagement, I started a notebook where each day I would write in it another reason why I loved him! This was the gift I gave him on our wedding day, and he loved it. He treasures it so much just as you describe your husband treasuring your future husband letters. It’s amazing what just taking a little time to reflect can mean to someone!

    1. I love your engagement notebook idea, Julie! What a special gift to give him on your wedding day! I totally agree – these kinds of gifts aren’t a ton of effort, but in just setting aside a little time, we can really do something meaningful for our loved ones! Thanks for sharing 🙂

  3. This is SO sweet Hannah!
    You two look incredibly in love in every photo I see of you and I just love that!

    I wrote letters to my husband as well! I started I think when I was 14- so our stories are similar!
    Every year on March 19th (no significance to that date!), I would write him a letter…..I actually waited until our wedding night to give him the letters, and it was such a meaningful time! He isn’t overly emotional at all, but definitely cried reading those letters that I had been saving all those years!

    I think it’s such a sweet thing for girls/young ladies to do- and I think it will mean more than you ever realize!

    1. 🙂 thanks, Amy! It’s so fun to be best friends who just love being silly together! Haha. 🙂

      It made my day to hear you wrote letters to your husband, too!! And you started at age 14 as well! I love how you really stuck to the “writing him yearly” commitment… and man, I bet he absolutely was touched getting to read them on your wedding night! Such a special gift!

      Yes, I agree – I want to encourage younger ladies to do this. It’s so easy just to get absorbed in the “here and now” but if they set aside a little time to write these letters, it’ll mean so much to their future husbands! Thanks so much for sharing, Amy!! It was so sweet to hear you did this too, and to hear how similar our stories are!

  4. This is so cute! I often write letters to my future self, but have never thought to write letters to my Future Husband. I did write one to the person I loved, and recently gave that to my boyfriend, which was really sweet to experience. I love that you have those memories with Bjorn. I hope you two are planning to write letters to your future children.

    Also, I just found your blog today (sad for me, because I wish I would’ve found it sooner…) and I love it already! You’re adorable and funny and I’m so excited to follow along with your journey. Happy Wednesday!

    1. Aww, thank you, Sammy!! You are so kind! It’s fun to hear that you wrote a letter to your boyfriend – and that he loved it! Yes, I HIGHLY recommend writing letters to your future spouse – it really is so sweet to experience giving the letters to someone you love! You know, I have not really thought about writing letters to our future kids! Thanks for suggesting that! Thanks so much for your encouragement – it really means a lot! 🙂 I’m excited to have you following along at Just Bee! Have a great start to your week 🙂

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