3 Game-Changing Questions to Ask Your Spouse



Sometimes in marriage, it’s important to ask each other questions BESIDES “What do you want washed?” “What should we make for supper?” or “Did you take the trash/recycling/dog/lawn mower out?” 🙂 These 3 have struck me as the most important questions I’ve learned so far. The first question, my husband asked me one night early on in our marriage. The second question is harder to do but oh-so-important if you come at it humbly. The third, my best friend’s mentor shared with her!

1 // Am I loving you the way you need to be loved? 

2 // Is there a sinful heart-attitude or other negative behavior you’ve noticed in me?

3 // What things can I do to make our place feel like home for you?


What questions have you learned in marriage are important to ask your spouse??




    1. Thank you, Hayley!! Oh man, that first question is a good one. I remember being so touched when Bjorn turned to me one evening and asked me that. It is such a good thing to reflect on, considering we so often love others in OUR love language which might not necessarily be theirs. At least I’ve struggled with that. 🙂 Thanks for your comment and for reading along!

  1. Love this! #2 is really compelling; I think we often see those attitudes in our spouse and let them pass as just “personality.” But we’re really losing the opportunity to help our spouse change something they probably want to change!

    1. Thanks, friend! That makes a lot of sense – we assume so much of people’s behavior is just their personality, when really, it may be something they would benefit from us pointing out – speaking truth in love, of course! And man, what a powerful question and opportunity for constructive criticism if we turn that question around! I’m always nervous when I ask Bjorn that one…but it really opens things up for great discussion. 🙂

    1. I agree! Thanks, Anna, for reading along 🙂 It is tricky to remember to ask those deeper questions in the middle of busy daily life!

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