The song my husband and I chose for our first dance was “Lucky” by Jason Mraz and Colbie Caillat. “Lucky” has such an easy, comfortable melody and rhythm, and beautiful harmony – but the main reason we selected it was because of the lyrics! “Lucky I’m in love with my best friend…” There is something so special about falling in love with and marrying your best friend. I think it’s the way to go, but then I’m a bit biased because it worked out for us! 🙂
Here’s why I think marrying your best friend is a good plan:
1 // You are already comfortable and familiar with each other. He already practically feels like family to you! That makes the actual change of perspective easier when he officially becomes your immediate family! From the get-go, I felt so comfortable around Bjorn, which allowed us to build up an authentic friendship in college without my hiding my faults or trying to always act a certain way around him. He had already seen me at my worst and honestly, we knew each other’s conflict styles so we generally knew how to work through any disagreements we had without letting them grow bigger!
2 // You are prepared for those less-than-romantic moments of marriage. Things like doctor’s appointments or car shopping or folding the laundry aren’t particularly romantic. You most likely won’t be filled with that we-just-started-dating giddiness during those hard, late nights with a crying baby or talking about finances, either. Much of life is found in the little, simple, sometimes-sweet, sometimes-difficult moments! If you are accustomed to doing these tasks (or other simple, seemingly mundane things) with your best friend, then you have a partner in life to provide you steady encouragement as well. Passion ebbs and flows, and that sparkly giddy dating excitement doesn’t necessarily run through your veins constantly as the years go on (although I have to say, he still does give me butterflies). But it shouldn’t disappoint you if it’s not happening constantly. Marry your best friend and you’ll be more prepared for all of those ups and downs and the less-than-exciting times too!
3 // You have someone to turn to! Marrying my best friend means that my closest confidant is now also my roommate! 🙂 I don’t often feel the need to turn to others outside my marriage for those deep, vulnerable conversations about what’s going on in my life. Don’t misunderstand me – I’m not saying that we don’t need good, close friends to confide in as well! But I think what can happen is women get quite busy turning to friends to share gossip or news or complaints or fears and may forget to confide like that in their husband as well. I want to make sure that regardless of if I talked through a topic with a dear friend or my mom that I don’t later neglect updating Bjorn on my thoughts (and listening to his as well!). It is a huge blessing to get to do life like this with someone and we shouldn’t take our husbands’ close, prominent position in our life for granted!
4 // You’ll set a good example of realistic expectations for your children. One of the coolest things for me to watch as I grew up was the fact that not only did my parents love each other and build a home/family together, but they also really, truly liked each other. They enjoyed being around each other and as a child, I could definitely tell that they were good friends! My parents are the reason I wanted to find and marry my best friend! I’m not a fan of people showing their children a marriage built on fancy dates and dramatic lovers’ fights and so on. Sometimes those habits/cycles are even established during a dating relationship. That behavior should be saved for television relationships! What I look forward to is Bjorn and I showing our kids what a steady, comfortable, joyful, goofy, still-passionate love looks like as a result of our deep friendship!
Would you consider your husband your best friend? Or are you hoping to marry your best friend someday? What makes it special in your mind?